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Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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10:53 am - bullshit patrol
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There's a flap in the news right now about Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, as you might have noticed. (If you haven't, here.)
I just want to say that I'm amused at the level of bullshit on both sides here. On one hand, you have the game maker claiming that this hidden sexual content was never meant to be seen by the game's players. They say it's code from an earlier version that was just left on the final release of the disk. Left on the disk? By accident? Was it too much trouble to hit the delete key, or did they just not need that disk space anyway? Yeah right. This stuff was obviously meant to be found, wasn't it?
On the other hand, the game rating system seems to be a joke of its own. The San Andreas rating has been changed from "Mature" to "Adults Only." What does that mean? It means you have to be 18 instead of 17 to buy it! WTF?! You're telling me 17 is old enough to (virtually) steal cars, shoot cops, and beat up hookers, but it takes the mature mind of an 18-year-old to have video game sex?
It's funny, too, that all the big megastores are pulling it off the shelves now (we only sell games that 17-year-olds can buy, right?). But notice at the bottom of the NY Times article that WalMart says it "would almost certainly restock the new version" from which the secret sex scenes have been removed. Damn right you'll restock it. That game's sold 21 million copies since it came out in October. Compare that to CD sales in 2004 for Madonna (650,000), Metallica (1.4m), or even the annoyingly popular Usher (8 million). Walmart knows which side of the morality bread is more buttery. Or something.
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| Sunday, October 17th, 2004
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6:37 pm - Attention please...
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We interrupt this garbage to bring you:
Graduate School.
Next update: circa 2010.
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| Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
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11:39 am - Ah, New York City.
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Canal Street, to be precise: 
And they say California is a strange place.
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| Monday, May 24th, 2004
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9:44 am - Friends finale
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Achewood is funny, have I mentioned it?
I almost peed my dorm pants.
current mood: collegial
current music: The Accidentals, Trinity's finest a capella!!!
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| Friday, May 7th, 2004
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2:41 pm - Air America Radio
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Calling all liberals...
It's been a long time coming, but we now have a left-wing response to Rush "Drug Addict" Limbaugh: Air America Radio!
Listen live here. (RealPlayer stream)
Al Franken's show is pretty funny. That's about all I've listened to so far. While I'm on the political tip, here's an interesting quote:At a McCormick Tribune Foundation conference on terrorism on Feb. 26, 2001, Bremer said, "The new administration seems to be paying no attention to the problem of terrorism. What they will do is stagger along until there's a major incident and then suddenly say, 'Oh, my God, shouldn't we be organized to deal with this?' That's too bad. They've been given a window of opportunity with very little terrorism now, and they're not taking advantage of it."
Bremer made the speech after he had chaired the National Commission on Terrorism, a bipartisan body formed by the Clinton administration to examine U.S. counterterrorism policies. "Major incident"? %@#$ me, I guess so.
On the lighter side: whaaa??? As Dave says...
permalink
current music: no more music, just left-wing talk radio!
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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
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4:08 pm - some serious doonesbury
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Any regular readers of doonesbury out there? I was just catching up on the last month or so and, well, see for yourself... This story line is the first time I can ever recall a doonesbury strip without a punchline. It took me several seconds of wondering "I don't get it," before I realized there wasn't a joke to get.
There was a long New Yorker article a couple of months ago about a soldier who just lost his leg in Iraq, and it really is horrible to read and think about. Christ, even a comic strip character losing a limb is shocking and depressing. I think it's important, though, to have some harsh reminders on a regular basis to keep us mindful of the real cost.... Speaking of, did anyone watch the Nightline program where they listed the names and faces? I'd be curious to hear how people reacted to that. (One of the few moments in the past year and a half I've regretted the lack of a TV.)
Here's hoping for peace.
Update: Trudeau's comments on the storyline.
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| Friday, April 30th, 2004
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4:57 pm - the subject is: frequency of posts.
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at least i update more often than this guy.
(note that this website dates from an era when a wacky personal website merited an interview in Time. remember the dancing jesus?)
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11:47 am - what was that line about life and art and imitation?
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1. 2. 3.
clearly, we are doomed.
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| Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
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10:34 am - the internet: scourge of productivity
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The latest time-waster/addiction:
Update, 05/24/04: SWRON (Shockwave Tron) has been classified top-secret by DARPA, under provision 32 of the PATRIOT Act. Also, please turn in all your Star Wars videotapes to the Pentagon. (Rummy said we could build a DEATH STAR!!!)
Tongs are still here.
my web thingy still == realization that i have nothing to contribute to our culture.
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| Friday, April 9th, 2004
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3:31 pm - playing ketchup
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It's been a while, but since I really have nothing to say anyway, I think that's okay. I'll make this brief, and just list some stuff. Like Billy says, "brevity is the soul of wit."
New places to virtually visit:
Flak Magazine. Reviews, commentary, you know... culture and shit.
Achewood, a comic strip featuring anthropomorphized cats and stuffed animals.
The Black Table, humor columns I'm already growing tired of. (Some good links, though.)
funny songs featuring our fearless leader. (One of the aforementioned good links, incidentally.)
a subservient chicken. (Actually a person in a chicken costume, I think.) (Thanks Serge.)
Mel Gibson's competition for portraying the Passion of the JC:
  
SonOfSupercar, a friend's band. (Don't bother clicking on this one, you don't care.)
The Francis Kim Band, another friend's band which you may actually care about. And even if you don't, they have a much cooler website. Also, they need you to vote for them.
(Euge, update of an old joke for the FKB: what do you call a white guy who hangs out with a bunch of asian musicians? A drummer bassist! heheh...)
What else do I have for you? Not much. If I haven't told you already, I'm going to graduate school at Yale in the fall. Tish and I are moving to New Haven in August, right after we go live it up in Crete for a few weeks with Dirty D. (Crete is going to be way cooler than Russia or Amsterdam, suckas!)
That's about it. Perhaps I will demolish this thing before I leave California. Send it to the virtual shredder. We'll see.
Why aren't there goddamn bullets on my list? #*%$&! Thank you, slacker html.
Oh yeah, happy easter.link
current music: Oh no/there goes Tokyo/Go Go Godzilla! Owen likes this song.
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| Monday, March 22nd, 2004
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6:48 pm - signage
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we used to have to steal signs and take them home and spend hours trying to rearrange the letters like an anagram and then take it back to have this kind of fun. ah, progress!
These things are popping up everywhere, but as far as I'm concerned, Ryland started it. (Check out his IM hijinks page. Now that's the kind of gratuitous sophomoric humor I can relate to!)
link
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| Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
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7:26 pm - a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to act like an idiot.
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Saturday night we went with some friends to a show in SF. The Fleshies, at a little bar called Thee Parkside. And I did something I haven't done since high school, which is mosh like a madman. The funny thing is, I was just trying to keep up with Jon, who's 32 and British (don't ask why, it's just funny), and he was in there pushing guys with 6-inch mohawks and girls with metal all over their faces. It was a riot! And it was really fun too, which surprised me. I totally got sucked into it, especially when the singer started thrashing around in the middle of us all and "stage diving" off the 4-inch riser, and writhing around on the floor with the microphone and his shirt ripped off. And we were all picking him up and throwing him back towards the stage, and people behind me kept pushing me back into the middle of the floor, which was getting really slippery with beer and sweat, but I never quite fell over. And whenever anyone did fall over, there was that wierd instant shift from pure adrenal aggressiveness, pushing people as hard as you can, to communal helpfulness, making sure no one got stomped on, picking them back up and once they're on their feet, and no broken bones, push 'em back into the mix. The singer was crowd surfing and kicking the cieling and still singing, and the set lasted about 30 or 40 minutes, because that was all he - or we - could take.
I'd forgotten how much fun that was, not to mention how much energy it takes. I was totally out of breath by the end of the set. And I admit I had numerous visions of when this kid Justin Grable got his front teeth knocked out at the El 'n' Gee. But I didn't let that slow me down, nay! I repressed all impulses to act my age (or twice it) and let loose the inner dumbass angry teenage punk, and it was the most fun I'd had all week.
link
current music: Flaming Lips - Hear It Is
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| Friday, March 12th, 2004
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12:56 pm - Conceptual Art
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A person named Ben Greenman has a clever idea to make money by selling ideas for conceptual art (installations, performance art, etc). He calls it the Conceptual Art Registry. I thought that the logical complement to this was for him to fill his registry by buying ideas from creative people who don't have the means or the desire to execute them. So I wrote Mr. Greenman an email, saying as much. Here's the email I wrote to Mr. Greenman, wherein as much is said.
Dear Mr. Greenman,
I really like your idea for the Conceptual Art Registry. I was wondering, though, how you plan to harvest the ideas that go into the registry. Because I think your Registry could also serve a purpose to people like me, who are constantly coming up with (if I may say so myself) genius ideas for Conceptual Art, yet are too lazy (or disdainful of Conceptual Art) to execute these plans. If I could sell you my Concepts for a modest fee, say $5 a pop, it would serve us both well - you save time otherwise spent brainstorming for ideas to fill the ranks of your registry, and I get to eat lunch. Whaddaya say?
Sincerely,
Matt Johnson
P.S.: The following freebies are yours to keep, no matter what you decide. First off, a variant on VID089 (VID089c?), wherein each monitor displays what the camera above the adjacent monitor is recording. See how long it takes people to realize they're looking at each other. And one of my own originals, for the performance art category: the concept is, when driving around town, trick pedestrians or other drivers into thinking you're going to hit them. But do it artfully. For example, mid-turn, aim towards oncoming traffic and put a look of sheer horror on your face, as if you've just realized that the brakes and steering are both shot to hell and a collision is inevitable. Wait for the audience (that is to say, the other driver) to reciprocate the terrorized facial expression, then laugh maniacally as you turn back into your own lane. (As an add-on idea for the VID category, catch people's reactions on tape. It's probably best to have a passenger filming, for safety's sake of course.)
If Mr. Greenman should decide to purchase my concepts, all I will have to do is rack my memory banks for similar stunts I pulled with my friends in high school; or for the numerous conversations we had that started with Niles asking, "What would you guys do if I just suddenly [performance art concept here]? HAHAHAHAHA!"
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| Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
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12:23 pm - Best. Salsa. Ever.
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I found this article today about Mrs. Renfro's brand salsa. Tish and I have been enjoying Mrs. Renfro's for a few months now. Our favorite flavor is the chipotle corn. This article claims it's available in all fifty states, which is a relief for us. We were worried that maybe it was a West Coast brand, and we'd have to stock up when we head out of California this summer.
Which reminds me how much I'm going to miss the mexican food out here. It's unreal. All of you need to come visit us so we can take you to our favorite mexican place up the street, Palo Alto Sol. If you think mexican food begins and ends with a burrito, think again. (If you don't want to think again, I'll take you to Senor Taco. They have the best burritos.)
link
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| Friday, March 5th, 2004
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12:57 pm - friday. what are you lookin at?
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| Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
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11:24 am - it's super tuesday.
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| Monday, March 1st, 2004
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10:51 am - (is this becoming a theme?)
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An open letter to the pixies:
Dear Pixies,
I just wanted to let you know that I did all I could this morning to get tickets to the show in Davis. I clicked madly with one hand at tickets.com, while dialing the phone madly with the other. I even accidentally dialed 911 at one point, in my haste. Oops.
I don't know how big this venue is (a few hundred, I guess), but it sold out in 40 minutes flat. (Hey Frank, do your solo shows sell like that?) So please, come back soon, okay? Quit jerkin my chain with this Canada/Europe bull. We want to see you here in the states. Are you too cool for us?
Love,
Matt
link
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| Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
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3:37 pm - Perhaps a name change is in order...
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If I were to tell you that there is a doctor - a urologist - named Dr. Richard Chopp, and he "has a very special interest in Vasectomies," would you believe me?
If you were said doctor, wouldn't you at least not go by the nickname Dick?
Update: Considering that one of vasectomy specialist Dick Chopp's colleagues is a Dr. Hardeman, who "enjoys caring for...patients with erectile dysfunction," I am beginning to wonder about the authenticity of this website. At the very least, this is a group of doctors with a sense of humor. Right? I hope?
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9:50 am - An Open Letter to Google
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Hey baby,
I'm a big fan of you, Google. I use you constantly. I go everywhere with your built-in functionality on my laptop's Safari browser. I keep you close at work with your toolbar for ms explorer. I know I've never written you before, and maybe you think I take you for granted. Maybe I do. But apparently I can't count on you to be a non-political entity. I would like you, Google, to be a useful tool, and if anything more, perhaps a cultural phenomenon. (Love those google bombs, by the way! Hilarious!) But now you're letting your corporate side show through by rejecting those ads from oceana.org. WTF, Google? Are you considering getting into the cruise industry? A little horizontal diversification? Maybe one of your board members or whoever is a Royal Caribbean honcho of some kind. At any rate, I'm majorly bummed. You know, I hear Yahoo makes a toolbar for their search engine. Not that I'm threatening you. Just that I think we need some time apart, you know, reassess our relationship. Maybe in the meantime you could reassess your censorship of oceana.org's ads.
Call me, okay?
Love,
Matt</bockquote>
link
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| Friday, February 13th, 2004
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11:24 am - slack hack, jack
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This livejournal setup is pretty ghetto, as you can see. But it's free, so... I like to think of it as a challenge. Today's challenge: there's no individual links to go to a specific post on this page (fancypants blogs call them "permalinks," I think). Solution: I hide a little html in the subject and at the bottom of each post, like this:
<a name="page_location">Post Subject</a>
<a href="[this URL]/#page_location">link this post!</a>
And presto! Now you lucky folks can easily access your favorite post every time you want to revisit the intelligent wit and humor that is my virtual presence. (I like the ones with the pictures, myself. What a handsome sonofagun!)
et voila! le pseudopermalink
current music: Jurassic Five - Quality Control
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freerangehuman's journal
